Celebrating Austin

Today marks what would have been Austin's 6th birthday. It is very hard to believe it has been 6 years since he was born...6 years since we were thrown into a situation that we never expected. But, God knew what he was doing on that day. He blessed us with a precious, sweet and wonderful little man that changed our lives forever. The time we had with Austin was priceless, and we are still learning and understanding why God gave Austin to us. I'm so thankful we were able to share him with so many through our journey, and I pray that you take time as you read this to thank God for the blessings in your life.

These were the balloons on Austin's high chair the day we celebrated his first birthday.

Our sweet little man and his smash cake :).

I remember how worn out he was after the party! He absolutely sacked out in his bed with his "paci on a stick" as Drew called it (the nurses in NICU rigged this paci for him while he was there, and needless to say he got very attached to it.). So many memories and emotions come flooding back when I look at pictures of him. I miss him, and I can't wait to see him again.

Tonight Avi and I went to Austin's grave. This was the first time I had taken her. Honestly I don't visit there often because I know that is not where he is...we usually do visit on his birthday, though. Avi, of course, didn't quite understand where we were or exactly what to think. When I told her we were visiting Austin's stone, she said, "But Austin's in heaven!!" It warms my heart to know that she knows she had a big brother. We said a prayer and walked around and looked at flowers. Avi wanted to pick some flowers, LOL. I politely explained those flowers were not for picking! When we got home, she decided she wanted to make Austin a "gift." She recently got some safety scissors that she's been dying to have and some stick glue. She cuts papers and then glues them into little squares to make them look like a present. Anyway, she made one for Austin tonight, and then she told me she wanted to write him a letter, and she proceeded to act like she was "writing" on his gift. As she was "writing," she also recalled the letter out loud. It went a little something like this:

Dear Austin,

I love you SOOoooOO much. I'll come to visit you in heaven soon. Thank you for sending Jesus for us. Do you watch TV in the mornings? That's okay. If you don't, you can just stay with God.

Love, Austin

(she hasn't quite figured out she is supposed to insert her name here)

Then she said, "Hey mommy, when we get to heaven, can we give Austin a big hug?" My answer--"Absolutely!"